I know that the things I love the most are also the things that tend to cause me the most fear. I get worked up about where the peanut butter goes in the fridge because I’ve attached meaning to the placement of that particular item.
Sometimes I fear things because I’ve been told I should, like friendly looking turkeys.
What I’m wondering today is if there are things in your life that you fear because you think you should, instead of a real fear that comes from genuine fright? I wasn’t afraid of turkeys until I was told I should be. Then I had to learn to remember how to be unafraid again. Do you have anything like that in your life?
Is there a love that you are pushing away because you hold it in abeyance with fear? I did this with, of all things, peanut butter placement. I was worried that if the peanut butter was out of place, I’d have trouble getting the love in my family to line up. Since I have admitted I am such a goose in life, does this allow you to look in the dark corners of your life and find some pocket where love is stuck because you are also fostering fear? We could be gooses together.
I’m sort of amazed by how I stop the flow of simple, pure-water Love in my life because I am afraid. I’m afraid it will stop coming. I’m afraid it will end. I’m afraid it will change me because I will want to become someone this person will want me to be. Yada yada yada. This is the noise my brain makes. Do you have noise like this inside your brain when it comes to love and fear?
Then I think about what made me go back to those turkeys. I adore my neighbor, for one. I remembered that the first time I met the turkeys I had no trouble at all. I don’t like having my choices shrunk. I like to know I can walk anywhere I want to walk. And, most importantly, I like to foster bravery. Is there a situation, recently, that you’ve entered or re-entered that was frightening, and, because of love you found it rewarding? I love those turkeys so much, and I love facing down what truly amounts to an imagined fear.
Do you have a love at home that is plugged up by a jar of peanut butter or something close to that? Something sort of silly? How can you be more brave in dealing with that? How can you allow that river of love that wants to flow dash about and hydrate your life? In what ways are you most brave when it comes to love?