Scott Simon is the one man for whom I’ve always said I would leave my husband. Everyone knows this. I’ve had a crush on him for decades. He’s the kind of gentleman that calls people by their surname, “Ms. Kellogg,” and then he pauses to allow them to respond so they’re certain of his acknowledgment. He has the boyish, abandoned laugh that announces to the world his joy, and he channels a dude each week when he lives for the sports segment of his national radio program.
Gentleman, boy and dude; I’ve always felt like he was the full manly package. How could I resist? But what made me willing to put my 22 year marriage on the line has always been his deep compassion. This man has brought me to tears more than any other individual in my life.
He has a singular ability to connect with people. His interviews are penetrating. A Quaker by upbringing and a man of peace he has made me understand combat because he lived in war zones, covering them again and again. I am convinced that if the world’s leaders were required to listen to each of his conflict related interviews, peace would finally reign on planet earth.
I surmise one of Mr. Simon’s favorite interviews was with a baseball great (I think it was Micky Mantle, but I can’t get google to help me confirm what my memory doesn’t leave in stone.) Mr. Baseball was obviously promoting something that week because the radio waves had been filled with his voice telling the same stories with the same laugh lines.
But, as with all things, Scott Simon did things differently. As the interview wound to a close the baseball great said something like thank you, you managed to get at some things others had not. The ultimate prize! This is why I love him. He finds things others do not. I always thought it was his softness that allowed for this inroad.
But this week his essay set me straight. The man of my dreams detests the softness to which I’m so attached. It’s beneath him. It’s all been a ruse.
He made fun of the trend in men’s razors.
I will admit that I, too, have been stunned by the plethora of lotions and ergonomics when it comes to men’s razors. The price of blades is enough to break the bank. Where did the simple days of track II go?
But then I mused if softness is valued by women, why shouldn’t it be a commodity equally available to men? Men shave more frequently than women and a face has to be more tender than a leg.
As I watch the next generation coming up I see daddies at the grocery store with nearly the frequency that I see mommies and they have little ones in tow. Softness is certainly something I want peppering the life of anyone who has to balance a baby while reaching for the cheerios.
I’ve watched this generational transformation with glee. I’ve seen daddies buying school clothes and it melts me. Melts me right at the spot that makes me know I’m a woman and he’s a man.
Does it make a man less manly because he wants a little luxury in the five minutes he spends at the sink between toothbrush and shower? I’ve always felt softness defines the rugged man, and makes him someone I’d want to touch.
I put an ergonomic handle in my husband’s hand. He could feel it. Manly man that he is, his hands knew just what to do.
So, pained as I am to let a dream go, I’m truly relieved to know our marriage is now finally a safe zone. No longer is Scott Simon a threat. Manly men use soft razors with ergonomic handles.
How about you? What makes a man manly (or a woman womanly) in your eyes? What man/woman has you captured and might threaten a long-term relationship? And what about the softness of razors? Are we all just turning into mush-soup?
Mr. Simon has a new book coming Baby We Were Meant for Each Other. Contrary to his essay regarding razors, it looks to be a soft reflection on adoption and parenting. A tear crept into the corner of my eye when perusing his website. Might shaving be the only place he’s rough around the edges? I dare not dream it.
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My husband is one of those men you would see frequenting the grocery stores with little ones. He is such a wonderful husband and father. He not only works long hours for us, he comes home and actually hangs out with us. One particular moment really gets me.
A couple days ago we were hanging out with some friends (a blogging friend, incidentally) at Carl’s Jr. We were chatting and eating while the kids played. Ben stood up after a few minutes and left with Emily. A few minutes later he came back and retrieved Andrew. For the remainder of our time there, he played with the kids in the playland. Really played with them. That is what my husband does. While he enjoys chatting with adults, he prefers to hang out with his kids.
I’ve thought a lot about this as a mom of four boys — the dilemma of teaching them the balance between softness and manliness. Actually, when you have four and a husband you’re so outnumbered, that the manliness takes care of itself — has a life of its own. I added my dose of softenss, and I think it’s turning out just fine.
I’m off to check out that website!