My altared space today is the Colorado State Fair held in Pueblo. My son helped to set it up. It’s a job called teen clerking, and I’d never heard of such a thing a year ago. Today I just wound up 5 days sleeping on a bunk bed in the midst of dozens of other people so that I could know about a life that is not my own.
My son spent his days carrying cakes (or posters or leather craft projects or quilts) from here to there so they could be first judged and then displayed. Teen clerks help to gather the items as they arrive from all over the state. They get them organized so the judges can decide who should have the honor of Grand Champion.
After the judging is complete, the kids get busy displaying each and every item so that, when the hoards of people come to the State Fair, all the cakes, quilts and paintings are ready to be viewed. It’s a big job and it takes an army of volunteers to do it.
I watched my son, the guy who typically is popping wheelies on his bike, carry cake after cake from one end of a giant gymnasium to another. Then he carefully stacked them in a closet with stairs and a window for viewing. Occasionally he’d pause as he passed me to comment on the detail he noticed on a particular cake. This is my son. The boy who, when we recently cleaned out his drawers, had a sock mysteriously appear in every single drawer.
I didn’t know my son was capable of noticing the detail a strand of carefully placed licorice on a cake. Turns out he not only notices, he points it out to his friends. This changed me.
As a mother I think it is nearly impossible to keep from boxing my children into categories. He likes hip hop. She likes the symphony. If 2 tickets to a concert, play or sporting event land in my lap, I tend to take the child who shows an interest in that kind of event. Cakes? I’d have given that one to my daughter.
But this experience opened my eyes to the possibility that we can be molded to appreciate a world outside our existence. I’m not certain what did it. Perhaps sleeping in the boys’ dorm and the nightly freedom, away from mom, surrounded by testosterone was enough intoxication to make any circumstance desirable. I don’t know.
Cakes were not the only thing we did at the state fair, however. My son also competed in the archery competition. In this battle, boys and girls (there are plenty of each) stand at a variety of distances from targets and shoot arrows.
I did not spend my youth dreaming about the family I would raise and how I would spend my days watching arrows fly. In fact it’s been weird adjusting to all this warrior equipment in my home where I’m trying to cultivate peace.
But I watch my son practice and the quiet he has found and I am in awe. To shoot a bow accurately is a measure of precision. One must hold still even after the arrow flies. There is a focus my boy has found that is unique and has come directly from hitting the target.
I am undone by the surprises life hands out. Peace from flying arrows; cakes that open my eyes to a boy who spots the details of perfect frosting. These gifts surround me every day and they come when I least expect it. It’s why I am always game for the new adventure. I’m sure to discover something I don’t yet know about someone I love a lot.
What have you done recently that surprised you because it was outside the box you’d built to be your life? How has a change in circumstances helped you to see someone with new eyes? Have you ever been to a state fair?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I’d never expect my teenager to notice detail work on a cake, either! How cool that he did! I’ve never been to a State Fair–too many people for me, I think.
What an eye opening experience. Already I’m quick to, as you said, box my kids into categories. It’s so hard not to. I want to cling to what I know, even if it’s just that he likes trains and she likes monkeys
what a beautiful tribute to your son. and, though unintentional, to your mothering.
I never wanted to build a box and have fought the box from being built for years. I am amazed at myself for constantly being reminded to stay in the box, and being surprised at it. I find people feel safe in a box, there is nothing wrong with that, I live in house, it is my box; but in my life, I have no walls. There will always be times when I want to crawl in a box but I won’t let it happen without a good fight.
I have to tell you, everytime I read your blog I find some inspiration. I love that about your writing. You are like a little bit of Buddha to me. I especially appreciated your last comment a month ago. I came at the perfect time, as if fate is very real. Thank you. I teared up at this one, not sure which part but maybe just moved by you as a person. I can sense your humanity in your words.
What I want to know is, how can I get a job as the cake-tasting judge? Seriously, I think my kiddos, each in their own way, are constantly inviting me to step outside the box I’ve built. It’s accepting their invitation that I struggle with!
We are big archery fans here, and big pacifists. I think it’s helpful for boys to “contact” the hunter deep within their DNA. Archery almost seems a way to tame aggression and focus the wild testosterone especially in a teenager. This was a lovely post. Your son sounds really special.