a poem for paris and the deer who lives in my field

by rebecca on November 23, 2015

Post image for a poem for paris and the deer who lives in my field

On My Way to Take a Photo of the Fence Post I Get Distracted

Retracing my steps, I knelt
prayerfully surveying
each pellet left by the deer who lives
in my barn. I noticed
each whisper of frost glimmering
in the sun, now rising over the shadowed hillside,
I was captivated by tiny crystals of frost
and how they were kissing
each and every piece of neatly
stacked pooh.

Precious gems of ice
are created when the temperature drops
quickly. Suddenly.
Captivating the dew point frozen
in time.

frosty pooh closeup 480
I left for the field and was surprised
by the frost kissed pooh
just after abandoning
the heat of NPR and reports of Paris
bombings.
A cousin’s husband died on 9/11.
She kissed him goodbye
that day and he never
came home. I am aware
that more mothers of children
suffered that fate anew.
It is tempting for me to investigate
the hate I have for people who plant
these bombs.

But instead “Wait, Wait” comes on the radio
as I return inside and I hear the host
offer hint after hint
to this octogenarian.
While she takes the quiz I relax
because he practically gives his guests the answers.
It is such human decency
and my bottom lip quivers in the face of this generosity.
She doesn’t take the bait
however, and answers incorrectly.

sunlit grass
What motivates his parting assurance?
“But you can stand tall
as you introduce yourself in restaurants.”
Perhaps he thinks about how she will hear
herself if ever she listens
to a replay of this show? Just plain grace?
I wonder.
These meditations are more mysterious
than glittering frost on pooh.

Back in my field, where I shiver
a single blade of sun drenched grass
stands up against the horizon line of day’s break.
A black shadow is hiding much of the hill.
I crawl, sacrificing my belly because
the photo is crucial
when the news about Paris
is grim.

A tender host, the sun
and frosty deer remnants
are essential
when the hillside looms
so very dark.

frosty grass closeup 480
Here is the Wait Wait link. An enormous thank you to Rosemerry who helped me with this poem, to my poetry workshop at WCWF, to Sue Ann, whose blog this week inspired me to post this instead of letting it sit in a drawer, and to the deer who lives in my barn. My heart reaches toward those in Paris.

Please join my mailing list. Click here to get my stories delivered to your inbox.

{ 2 comments }

confessions from a parent who throws things

November 16, 2015
Thumbnail image for confessions from a parent who throws things

“There’s jelly on my toast!” screams my neighbor’s daughter. “I thought you liked jelly,” says dad, and it’s true, she did like jelly, with a particular preference for raspberry. “I hate jelly!” the toast is now airborne. “I forgot to tell him to put peanut butter on the toast,” says my friend to her daughter […]

Read the full post →

we give what we want to receive

November 1, 2015
Thumbnail image for we give what we want to receive

We give what we want to receive. This gets us in trouble only when our expectations get in the way which is usually always. Because we want to receive what we give. In all likelihood, you, like me, have attracted people into your life who give you very different things than you offer. You attracted […]

Read the full post →

opposites attract in the kitchen

October 18, 2015
Thumbnail image for opposites attract in the kitchen

My husband learned to cook because I begged him. “Feed me,” I said a kagillion times. Wow! Was it worth the wait! The waiting was a hungry time, but the eating was far more nourishing than food. My husband does nothing by halves. He studied cooking as if he were pursuing another graduate degree. He […]

Read the full post →

dancing tubas and celebrating my father’s birth

October 4, 2015
Thumbnail image for dancing tubas and celebrating my father’s birth

Football season makes me interested in tubas. I went to my first ever Colorado Buffalos game last Saturday. The first thing I noticed was how the tubas danced in unison as they played the fight song when the Buffs scored a quick touchdown. I’m a side-dish girl when it comes to life. The main event […]

Read the full post →

how being president changed me

September 28, 2015
Thumbnail image for how being president changed me

I just finished a 3-year term as president. When I accepted a volunteer position to lead the community center of our tiny 1-stop sign town, I thought I would be helping to plan the Halloween party. Mostly, I learned about the variety of pots of money when it comes to government, and why all of […]

Read the full post →

allowing happiness in

September 14, 2015
Thumbnail image for allowing happiness in

My husband is not a “you should” sort of person. I live with no finger pointing, though I point plenty, “You should have taken out the trash… paid more attention…hugged me sooner.” Because my husband doesn’t have this voice does not mean I don’t hear it from him. I am capable of mapping my own […]

Read the full post →

the vacation of kids coming home

September 6, 2015
Thumbnail image for the vacation of kids coming home

My children are my true companions. I can say this now. It wasn’t always true. There was a time I envied hours of simply running to the grocery store without them, because they were cling-ons, not companions. I tried to carve out our happiness, however. There were many trips to many stores through many years, […]

Read the full post →

the rollercoaster of happiness is sometimes boring

June 28, 2015
Thumbnail image for the rollercoaster of happiness is sometimes boring

Sometimes happiness is thrilling like a ride on a rollercoaster. Sometimes happiness is serene like floating on a mountain lake. But my rollercoaster is also terrifying and my lake can be boring, so I’m glad to be able to shake it up. I live in a place where I wake to the sound of birds […]

Read the full post →

you are not invisible, i see you

June 22, 2015
Thumbnail image for you are not invisible, i see you

I know how it is when you’re doing more than you feel capable of: stretched beyond your capacity. Just after my son was born, my stepfather landed in the hospital and it didn’t look good. I moved my 3 year old daughter, my new born baby, and my graduate-student-husband in with my mother because she […]

Read the full post →

dropped money, kale salad for hundreds, and a mother’s happiness

May 31, 2015
Thumbnail image for dropped money, kale salad for hundreds, and a mother’s happiness

Cleaning up what I thought was trash on our lawn, my husband found a check for $182. “I think that check fell out of my purse as I was headed to the bank,” I told him. The last time my life was this full of stress I lost the title to our car. That was […]

Read the full post →