grief

hide and seek with my dog and the moon

December 19, 2016
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There is a ritual to buckling on skis. If you don’t fully open the binding, there is no amount of forcing that will allow your foot to catch and hold. Good life lesson: open first. It’s what marriage and my dog both have taught me to do. I buckled on my skis, and took a […]

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you are not invisible, i see you

June 22, 2015
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I know how it is when you’re doing more than you feel capable of: stretched beyond your capacity. Just after my son was born, my stepfather landed in the hospital and it didn’t look good. I moved my 3 year old daughter, my new born baby, and my graduate-student-husband in with my mother because she […]

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why should you wear forbidden clothes?

October 28, 2013
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Do you have something forbidden that you wear on secret evenings? Me too. I crawl inside the same softness of a bunny’s ear and when that fabric touches my naked body I feel completely understood. I keep my mother’s zip up blanket sack in the hidden corner of my closet and love penetrates me deep […]

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how cleaning my cupboard connects the dots of my grief

October 14, 2012
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I miss my mother. Wearing a dress I designed and my mother sewed,  we sat together on the piano bench and sang hymns while I waited for my prom date to arrive. I was 17 years old and my hair was looking mighty fine. We harmonized Amazing Grace and it settled my nerves while I […]

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drive-by reminders of love

June 23, 2012
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Roadside altars catch my eye and I wonder, “Have people always done this?” It’s like seeing pregnant people everywhere once you get the two lines on your test stick. “Where were all these pregnant people yesterday?” The altar is in my rear view mirror, but I am curious and I turn the car around. My […]

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the hello in death’s goodbye

February 6, 2012
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I traced the metal rivets in the leather chair in which I sat. They were as evenly spaced as the hanging bags and monitors that were keeping my step-father comfortable as he journeyed toward death. The cold of the linoleum floor in the ICU crept through my socks each time I stood to apply chapstick […]

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grief: a grown up sandbox

January 31, 2011
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          Grief can be a mysterious thing. It just kinda wants to pour though me like water or sand. It’s wordless. As soon as I try to put my hands around it, it squishes out the sides, escaping in grains or droplets.           When my mother died I found myself wanting to simply touch things […]

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i am contained by containers

December 17, 2010
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           Today my altared space is my altar! I recently got inspired to redo it based on a blog post by the kind and thoughtful Bruce at Privilege of Parenting. He asked us to put a bowl on the table and fill it with all that we cannot hold, then take out abiding patience and […]

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a blanket giveaway

January 22, 2010
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Friday is the day I give something away. I make something to help me create an altared space in my life and offer you the opportunity to find an altared space in yours. Enter the random drawing by leaving a comment here or by sending me something for my garden. Entries are due by Thursday. If […]

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